Lie

I tried living through the lies

gave you all the love I had

But you saw right through

Can’t believe I lost my heart to you

 

I feel so sorry for you

Cuz I’m still not drunk enough to fuck

All you ever wanted is falling apart

Damned you are…chasing your luck

 

Can’t believe you tricked me

My best shot I gave

and you gave me but pain

 

Whenever we hung out

you seemed so cold

With friends around

you were somebody else I didnt know

 

Cant believe how you fooled them all

a stranger you always were

a stranger you always will be

 

I hate to even see your face

I got so confused

you got me buried in this place

Glad you chose to walk away

 

Now that you’re gone

I have my space

my tears have stopped

I’m so happy that I am not a part of your lie.

A requiem…

As I flip through the pages of my slam book

I wish if you were still here

I remember how you wanted to be a politician

how you wanted things to go your way.

 

Down to earth; hailing from a small village

Wonder if that was your destiny

You went away

Leaving everyone astray.

 

The naughty smile of yours

I remember how it drove the lasses insane

That pure innocent look; that charm

there was something endearing in your ways.

 

It happened so fast

pieces just fell; I couldn't make them stay

No one could have; it was destined.

It happened for some reasons I don’t understand

 

Wish you were here

It was much better with you my friend

All I am left with now

are the words and your dreams you once told me.

Pain is all that you gave

Did you sell your soul

Did you sell it for pride?

When you’re at the end of the road

Do you look back and see what you’ve done?

 

Does it matter now

you’ve pushed me so far, stretched me to the limits

You think love is a joke?

My dear friend you’re life is a big joke.

 

How do you feel living in dark

knowing you can’t have another try?

Do you reckon you’ve lost all sense of control

Pardon me but I’ve moved on so long ago.

 

Does is matter now

how you left me in ruins?

You’ll never get away

You’ve made so many cry!

 

Did you sell your heart

Did you trade it for fame?

Do you realise the mess you’ve made

or still go fucking everyone’s life?

 

You should have known

there’s a fine line between love and hate

You should have known clock ticks life away

 

What did you think

I’d never find out?

Boy, you must have bumped your head

cuz you thought you’d get away with that lie.

 

You’ve been living a lie

You still are…

I don’t hope you’d change

Pain is all that you gave.

So much more than that

I see forgiveness in your eyes

I feel the strong vibes

when we are together

That’s when I wish to freeze the time

stay as close; forever with you

Lifetime seems too short

and eternity just a word

to my appease my heart, my mind

If only there was a way

to make you stay

Fight is what they see us do

Only we know there’s so much more than that.

 

The endless cold dark nights

spent in each other’s arms

The way we touch, the kisses

the noises that we make

The rhythm of the heartbeat

changing with every move you make

Those breathless moments

leaving smile on our faces

could never have been a lie

You and I know it wasn’t fake

You’re not like them

and neither am I

Bodily pleasures are all they understand.

Only we know there’s so much more than that.

Wrapped up in your arms

I’m so lost, no tensions in the world

Gentle yet wild kisses

Oh..How you leave a taste on my tongue

Your touch like a morning dew on the petals

leaves me asking for more.

In love with a stranger

Young and sophisticated,

I knew he was for real

Every time he passed by

My heart skipped a beat.

He was so out of my league

but it seemed I knew him for donkeys years

I just couldn’t stop.

I was in love with this stranger

 

Lost in his dreams

Envisaging a life with him

was the only thing my mind could do.

Playing the chords of my heart

He would look me in the eyes

Give me a hickey.

Before I could figure out what the entity was

I was in love with this stranger.

 

Late night chats, endless flirts

got me all high..love drunk

how it happened, i don’t know

All I’m aware of is that I’m in love with this stranger,

the entity that appeared to me one night and therefeafter everday..

I don’t wanna die tonight

As I burn a candle

lay here by myself

I wish if somebody knew

somebody cared

somebody who’d show me a world

like he did in the past

and save me from all the mess I made

take away all this guilt and shame

allay my fear of loneliness

I am just so lost here in the darkness

 

Cuz I don’t wanna die tonight

something doesn’t feel right

wish i could trust my instincts

wish you could be mine

 

Hate for myself is on the rise

a new plan I need to devise

I am crying for help

Why doesn’t anybody listen

drinking away my sorrows

smoking away my pains

on the path of doom here I’m walking

With a heavy heart, head bowed down in shame

I’ve so many friends

but no one to blame

 

Cuz I don’t wanna die tonight

something doesn’t feel right

wish i could trust my instincts

wish you could be mine

 

however hard I try

no one seem to understand

I’ve bled too much, shed my tears

But the person I love has no idea

Just want to lie in your arms

Have my last breath, I pray

Since you’re not here

 

I just don’t wanna die tonight

something doesn’t feel right

wish i could trust my instincts

wish you could be mine

I need you here

I could still feel your lips on my skin
The warmth of your skin against mine
Your moan everytime we make love
It pains when you are not around
I miss you. I need you here.
I feel alive waking up to your sweet face
with a gentle kiss in the morning
I wonder how long I have to wait again
to feel your fingers run all over my body
I'm a little drunk.
I want your love. I need you here.

Come set me free.
I want to hear you say my name
Want you to hold me in your arms
to touch me and feel my senses
Just let me say this once I like it this way.
I have become somthing I am not
Only you can change me. Come save me.
I need you here.
All I ask is 30 minutes to get drunk
in each other's love
to finish all dues
to make good for all the times
you weren't with me.
To alter our lives forever
I need you here.

I can be your angel

Saw you waiting at the corner

with flowers for her and love in your eyes

Some girl, I knew not of

If only she knew what you're worth

I wish I were her

I could have shown you

a whole new world

loved you more than anyone

could on this planet Earth

I can be your angel

be everything you need

satisfy you completely

be what you want, your fantasy

Can't you see in me

what you feel for her

She makes you wait

Your love is going waste

I wish you could just see

she's not the one

you're supposed to be with

you deserve more than her

and her fake promises

I can be your angel

be everything you need

satisfy you completely

be what you want, your fantasy

I can be your angel

I'll protect you from troubles

ease your pain

take away your worries

make you understand

you're a man with dignity

show you the reality

Baby, I'll take you higher

when you feel low

I'll be your strength

when you feel weak

your source of inspiration

your comforter, your healer

I can be your angel

be everything you need

satisfy you completely

be what you want, your fantasy

I can be your angel

Just see in me what you feel for her

I can be your angel

You're more than what she thinks you are

Let me be your angel

I swear I'll treat you right

I trusted you

It was the last time I trusted you

cause believe me trusting you

took the hell out of me

Motherfucker, I didn't know it was all just a game

I was on the wrong train with you

You were so God damn popular

I was too blind to see

and guess I misunderstood

You wrung me up for things I thought were right

And frankly now I don't even know who I really am?

Thought your hands fit perfectly

in the spaces in between mine

But now I realise

All you got me is a memory of pain

I've bled for you, became what I was not for you

You made me cry for no fuckin reason.

I dies inside for you

You broke me, insulted me, disappointed me

What did I get after living with you for 10 fuckin long years

I guess another 10 years of fuckin misery

You call me a slut?

How can't I remember me on top of you?

The one who you're with

Deserves that title, not me

You feel sorry for me motherfucker

For me, you're nothing but a piece of shit

You made my life a hell

And now that you're not here

My life's way better

Hope every single memory of mine gives you hell

And you fuck up your life just like I did.

I won't be there when you fuck up with your life

You're on your own now bitch

Cuz I don't wanna be the one to blame

I thought you were like me

who understood the pain I feel

But now I know

I made a huge mistake

you proved to me your'e just some rottem shit

Whatever the fuck happens to you

I know I'm safe

cu you're on your own now

This was the last time I trusted you.

You might miss me sometime later

When you remember the time we spend together

When you realise I'd given so much up for you

that no other fuckin bitch would ever do..

You may say what you got to say

but I won't ever come back

All the bullshit you put me through

I just wanna break up, find a new lifestyle

and forget all the shit including you

I'm not gonna say again

I've made up my mind

I hate you so much, you disgust me

That I can't even stand you near me

This was the last time I trusted you

The script of my life

How to start, I don’t know

All I know I’ve got friends to whom I should bow
Supportive and helping at every walk of life
Full of compassion and love
They made every moment my precious time of life……..

Singing, dancing, painting in a four walled room
Can bring no more joy than just sitting alone and pass the time
Friends make my life worthwhile,
a reason to live While living the script of my life
The tunes to which we often dance in life
give us a chance to make a change and learn from them
while living the script of my life

how can I forget my best friend MINU
who’s been a guiding sweetheart from past 15 yrs and more.
It all started when she became my neighbour…
Just with 13 days of difference
She’s the one who’s understood me more than I do
Someone who’s very close to me and my heart….
Probably the first person with whom
I’ve had the best moments of life
Ever if I wanted a help I knew whom to rely on
Any small problem, my brain and heart both say
To call and ask her if she can help me…
Ever ready to help, yes she’s my BFF
No one can ever compete her in talents or be it any kind of stuff…
I can’t imagine a moment without her in my life
This way she helps me live the script pf my life….

When I was traveling thru’ the tough times
I needed someone to help me out
Then an angel came into my life
Not to forget this angel is the one
Whom I ditched for a crazy reason
{I’m sorry I didn’t understand you all these days when you were with me}
The angel I had lost for a while
The angel to whom, later on, I committed my life……..
If I were to describe him I would say “I’m short of words”
He’s sweet, bold, adorable, amiable, charming,
Tall, dark, and handsome hunk
Who at first glance took my heart away
Since the very time he came into my life,
He gave a new meaning to my life
About which I won’t lie
He showed me the way
Carried me delicately to a beautiful world of fantasy
He made me alive when I was lost somewhere
While living the script of my life……

With five female friends{SWATI, APOORVA, SHASHI, PRERNA and finally me},
we started as a band
Only we knew, how short it stood
We played pranks, and enjoyed
Our energy level never became void
There wasn’t a word “TENSION” in our dictionary
Cuz our cheers and laughter never meant to be stationary
Then came the day we dispersed
When we became upset and bid farewell
Our broken group saw a new phase
A phase it never had seen before
A phase of feeling lonely and bored
A phase when we became short of words
This is when I realized
It was all in the script of my life..
Friends play a crucial role in life
May they be in or outside the country
My school friends a lot of names to be listed in this section
Not even one to get missed out here
All have contributed a great deal
In helping me live the script of my life with a lot of zeal

BERLY is another main character in my life
He’s been my best friend for over 4 yrs
A friend having a lot of interest in video games and computer games
Not to forget his enthusiasm in football…

Loving, caring and trustworthy by nature….
SHASHI is one of my best friends
Who’s helped me out in studies
And was with me when I needed a company
I’ve known her for more than 3 yrs now
But never seen a friend as sweet and loving as she is…..

AKASH is one of my shy boy-friends{{best friend too}
A bike rider, sweet and cute by face
Helping, loving and caring by nature
Very trustworthy and true friend }
If I were to describe him in one word,
I’d say he’s INNOCENT……..

Every walk of life is a walk to remember
Till the time we’re in the tunnel of friendship
With friends, I can take any crazy chance
Or do a crazy dance
While living the script of my life
May it be a matter of love or Geometry in Maths
Friends help it pass it all thru’
While living the script of my life

For my lovely and supportive friends:-
I don’t regret the things I’ve done Or the things I’ve chosen not to do Because whatever I’ve done I must have done something right Because I ended up with you………

You are alone.........

What do you do when you know

You’ve done an irreversible mistake

You try to work things out

But nothing turns out the way you want

Each day you live in pain

Carry the burden of your long listed problems

The more you try to move away from them

More closer you get to it

Only thing that you wish

Is that when you close your eyes

Everything turns something close to normal

But you find that

Whatever you’re trying to do is a waste

You have no life

An unbearable pain is residing in you heart

And everything you love is on stake

You lose it all

When you are close to achieving the climax

You never figure out

How things work

You find the person you trusted

Turns out to be someone you never knew

You cry so hard

That one day you find

You have no more tears left to cry

All the agony is subdued in your smile

You try to be perfect

Fool people with your smile

You keep everyone as happy as possible

Let them hear what they want to

Oh you’re the best is all that you hear

But you know now they don’t really care about us

You just wish you hadn’t been so soft spoken

Everything seems so good

You get lost

You never come to know when it turns bad

You wish someone could just hear you, understand you

Raise you up higher than you ever thought

People say man’s love is mortal

So you turn to God for unfailing, never-ending love

You’re confused, doubt sometimes on His existence

Sometimes things wok,

Sometimes they don’t

Every time you pray

It seems your talking to yourself

Making a complete fool out of yourself

Just believing that someday my prayers will be heard

You can’t seem to really read all the signs

You try to find a friend on whom you can count on

But he only wants to be your lover

And finally lose even the friendship that you ever shared

By the time you realize

That you had been shitting the whole of your life

You realize you’re in the shithole

And it is impossible to get yourself out of it.

And now you know and realize you are all alone!

A dream come true

You still my heart

cam all my fears

take my breath away

make me weak on my knees

you're all i dream

you're all i need

my deepest desire

is to be with you

how can it be

you're here with me

and i'm not moved by you

every moment i'm with you

is a dream come true

in the shadows

when everyone's asleep

paint my lips

color my dreams

pull me close

wrap your arms around me

love me till you're exhausted

show me what you've got

your soul is where my heart belongs

you show me what true love is

every time i'm with you

i'm spell bound

will you tell me?

how can it be

you're here with me

and i'm not moved by you

every time i'm with you

is a dream come true.

Because I love you

Deep inside there's a rush

i can't control

whenever we dance

why do i lose myself?

why do all my thoughts lead me back to you?

i love the swinging of your hips

when you breathe out and i breathe in

i love everything about you

i fall in love with you

everytime i look into you eyes

there's something unusual

about your eyes

why do i feel a sweet pain

why am i scared of losing you

i love to hear you whisper my name

when we make love

i love everything about you

why do i always find myself

drowning in your love?

i guess it's because i love you....

Don't keep me dying

Fly away with me

spend a li'l time

i've been alone for a while

show me what true love is

i've forgotten what it feels like

please make me alive

don't keep me dying

without you i'm dying everyday

save me from the cruelty

set me free from my worries

feel me on your skin

breathe life into me

you don't know how it feels

to have nobody at my side

to wake upto dreadful nightmares

screaming your name

it's better to die

than living a moment without you

my life is like a frozen land

when you're not there

it's like there is no air

i can hardly breathe

please don't let me die

take me away.

Break away

I want to break away from my family

Break away from all the relationships

Break away so that I can fly

Spreading my wings to be where I wanna be

Enough is enough

no one respects my decision

I want to prove myself

prove to all that I am right

waiting for the perfect time

when in a flash I'd be gone

Gone with the wind to a place

where no one has ever been

to a place where no one will ever reach

I'm not a fool

I'm here on my own

I'll be gone and nobody will ever know

I will prove it

I want my space

I want my place

I'm not a disgrace

I wanna prove it

Why has everybody shut me up?

Why cant they just shut themselves up?

I dont want another backseat driver

I'm more than they can imagine

and my heart says that I'll prove it

Who are you to tell me

if this wrong or right?

can't I make everything right?

I cant let go myself like this

my life is a precious gift

I wont live on other's words

May be I'm shrunken to the world

but someday I'll prove it

when I cant judge myself

who are you to judge me

you never knew, you'll never ever know me

It may take sometime

but I'll prove that I'm not a disgrace

I'm not a mistake

I want my space

I want my place

I'm not a disgrace

Oh yes, I'll prove it

I'm scared

It's as if I'm scared

surrounded in darkness

with guns, with knives

Blood's all around, violence is all I see

I've been consuming everything

kept everything inside me

trying not to show it to anybody

fearing it would hurt them

I'm scared

scared to death

scared of the darkness around me

scared of this cruel world.

It's as if someone is trying

trying to snatch away my life

I'm not afraid of dying

But just that I'm afraid to lose you

the countdown has begun already

I'll be gone in a flash

Then what next?

everything will be a mystery

and my life a history!